Be My Joy (April 14, 2011)
I have never really been one to blog about myself, in fact, I never have. But recently I have been greatly inspired by the blogs of others, that I decided I would join in as well. As a little introduction to myself, I am an 18 year old student at Colorado Christian University. I am just finishing up my freshman year here, and I am majoring in business. My ultimate goal is to go to Africa and open up an orphanage, but currently I am obeying God's orders to wait. I have a deep rooted love in me for the lost and the broken, and I know that it can only come from God. Like all, I struggle in my relationship with God, but He is the only one who gives me purpose, and the only one worthy of the little I have to offer. I have given my life to serve Him, and there is nothing more beautiful in this life that being willing to follow his calling.
This blog will basically be about my adventure we call life, as my future becomes my present. God is working in my life, and I would love to share the ways that He is doing so with those who are dear to me. That being said, last night I was at a worship/prayer session and often times I like to journal my prayers. Well, last night I found myself writting so fast that my hand began to cramp, yet I continued to write, because God continued to put issues on my heart. So as I share the prayer of my heart, I hope it encourages you. I believe the world needs more honest Christians, not those who pretend they have it all together, because that only leads those of us struggling to believe we are doing something wrong. So here is my honest, struggling prayer to God:
"God, (In response to Matthew 11:28-30)
I am weary and burdened, give me rest. Put your yoke upon me, and teach me, for I am fragile and proud in heart, and my soul is weary searching for rest. For life is hard and the burden is heavy.
The best part about becoming yoked with you, is that you then lift the burdens and provide rest. We were not created to carry the burden of life on our own, we are unable. So God, I know that I am proud, and I know I am unwilling to admit that I am too weak. I know that I want to keep my burdens to myself, so as not to burden others. But God, watching me be burdened by these things is harder on you than if I were to give them over to you.
So God, tonight I give you control, and my desire to have control God. I do not need to know every last plan you have for me, but rather God, replace that desire with the peace of knowing that you are in control.
God, my plans, have them. my expectations, take those too. My desire for the things of this world: to be beautiful, to be "successful," to find worth in a man, please God, take it all
As life comes, may i walk it with you. Can we please experience life together. God, do not hide your face from me, for it is you that I seek. Be my joy. Be my strength. Be my hope. Be my guide. Be my life. May my life be a constant prayer to you.
God I am tired of working FOR you. I want the work I do to be an outflow of the love that I have for you. I desire to be deeply, madly, and wildly in love with you. God, hold my heart and fill it with a passion to seek for you until the day I will see you face to face. And on that day when we meet God, may my passions and desires be filled. In that moment all will be right because I will be with you, my father. So Abba, hold me close, and hold me tight so that nothing may get between us. No matter how hard I may fight to get away, do not let me go. No matter what it takes, always draw me back into your arms.
God give me the faith that is able to move mountains. Fill me with faith that is unshakable and unstopable. Faith that heals the sick, rescues the lost, and faith that does not rest and is never satisfied.
"To be honest God, last time I stepped out in faith I was hurt. Your plan was sovereign, but I was still hurt. So God, provide healing. May I not lose hope because your plan was different and may I continue to take leaps of faith.
Your daughter,
Alex
This blog will basically be about my adventure we call life, as my future becomes my present. God is working in my life, and I would love to share the ways that He is doing so with those who are dear to me. That being said, last night I was at a worship/prayer session and often times I like to journal my prayers. Well, last night I found myself writting so fast that my hand began to cramp, yet I continued to write, because God continued to put issues on my heart. So as I share the prayer of my heart, I hope it encourages you. I believe the world needs more honest Christians, not those who pretend they have it all together, because that only leads those of us struggling to believe we are doing something wrong. So here is my honest, struggling prayer to God:
"God, (In response to Matthew 11:28-30)
I am weary and burdened, give me rest. Put your yoke upon me, and teach me, for I am fragile and proud in heart, and my soul is weary searching for rest. For life is hard and the burden is heavy.
The best part about becoming yoked with you, is that you then lift the burdens and provide rest. We were not created to carry the burden of life on our own, we are unable. So God, I know that I am proud, and I know I am unwilling to admit that I am too weak. I know that I want to keep my burdens to myself, so as not to burden others. But God, watching me be burdened by these things is harder on you than if I were to give them over to you.
So God, tonight I give you control, and my desire to have control God. I do not need to know every last plan you have for me, but rather God, replace that desire with the peace of knowing that you are in control.
God, my plans, have them. my expectations, take those too. My desire for the things of this world: to be beautiful, to be "successful," to find worth in a man, please God, take it all
As life comes, may i walk it with you. Can we please experience life together. God, do not hide your face from me, for it is you that I seek. Be my joy. Be my strength. Be my hope. Be my guide. Be my life. May my life be a constant prayer to you.
God I am tired of working FOR you. I want the work I do to be an outflow of the love that I have for you. I desire to be deeply, madly, and wildly in love with you. God, hold my heart and fill it with a passion to seek for you until the day I will see you face to face. And on that day when we meet God, may my passions and desires be filled. In that moment all will be right because I will be with you, my father. So Abba, hold me close, and hold me tight so that nothing may get between us. No matter how hard I may fight to get away, do not let me go. No matter what it takes, always draw me back into your arms.
God give me the faith that is able to move mountains. Fill me with faith that is unshakable and unstopable. Faith that heals the sick, rescues the lost, and faith that does not rest and is never satisfied.
"To be honest God, last time I stepped out in faith I was hurt. Your plan was sovereign, but I was still hurt. So God, provide healing. May I not lose hope because your plan was different and may I continue to take leaps of faith.
Your daughter,
Alex
I know I have shared this on my facebook page a while ago, but I think that it is so motivational. I love the fact that it tells us to focus on what we can do. Because when we fail to see what we are capable of, so much potential is wasted. Think about it: We really do have a lot of power in this world. Have you ever simply smiled at someone and brightened their day, or taken ten minutes to write a letter to someone. The little things that we are able to do can often times make such a huge impact in the lives of those around us.
Also, another way to look at that is focusing on what we cannot do. I know for me this has been a great struggle in my life because I focus on the fact that I cannot sing, or cannot play sports, or cannot draw well. in focusing on these things I miss opportuniteis to find what I can do and use the gifts that God HAS given me. We all have great potential, will you waste yours by focusing on what you cannot do, or will you get out there, and do what you can?
(4/15/11)
Also, another way to look at that is focusing on what we cannot do. I know for me this has been a great struggle in my life because I focus on the fact that I cannot sing, or cannot play sports, or cannot draw well. in focusing on these things I miss opportuniteis to find what I can do and use the gifts that God HAS given me. We all have great potential, will you waste yours by focusing on what you cannot do, or will you get out there, and do what you can?
(4/15/11)
Never Let Down
Tonight God has taught me a very important lesson that I believe we are all supposed to learn at some point.
The truth is, people will fail us. They will make us feel worthless, and leave us standing in the dust. They will mistreat us, disappoint us, and ultimately hurt us (intentional or not). As long as we base our joy, worth, and value on the people around us we will be disappointed. It is only when we focus on God that we will never be let down. While we may throw a fit because His plan is not ours, in the end we will never be disappointed in God. We are able to rest assured that God's intentions are for our best and His actions will never go against His intentions.
So tonight my focus is to evaluate my life and figure out where I base my happiness and worth on other people and try to channel that towards God, and I challenge you to do the same.
Alexandra Hepper
(4/18/11)
The truth is, people will fail us. They will make us feel worthless, and leave us standing in the dust. They will mistreat us, disappoint us, and ultimately hurt us (intentional or not). As long as we base our joy, worth, and value on the people around us we will be disappointed. It is only when we focus on God that we will never be let down. While we may throw a fit because His plan is not ours, in the end we will never be disappointed in God. We are able to rest assured that God's intentions are for our best and His actions will never go against His intentions.
So tonight my focus is to evaluate my life and figure out where I base my happiness and worth on other people and try to channel that towards God, and I challenge you to do the same.
Alexandra Hepper
(4/18/11)